P.G. Wodehouse

Quotes

1. ...his head emerged cautiously, like that of a snail taking a look around after a thunderstorm.

2. 

   Aunt Agatha, who eats broken bottles and wears barbed wire next to the skin.

3. 

   It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.

4. 

   [of Spode] He was, as I had already been able to perceive, a breath-taking cove. About seven feet in height, and swathed in a plaid ulster which made him look about six feet across, he caught the eye and arrested it. It was as if Nature had intended to make a gorilla and had changed its mind at the last moment.

5. 

   Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag.

6. 

   'There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, "Do trousers matter?"'

   ‘The mood will pass, sir.’

7. 

   She snorted with a sudden violence which twenty-four hours earlier would have unmanned me completely. Even in my present tolerably robust condition, it affected me like one of those gas explosions which slay six.

8. 

   I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but a thing I have found in life is that from time to time, as you jog along, there occur moments which you are able to recognize immediately with the naked eye as high spots. Something tells you that they are going to remain etched, if etched is the word I want, for ever on the memory and will come back to you at intervals down the years, as you are dropping off to sleep, banishing that drowsy feeling and causing you to leap on the pillow like a gaffed salmon.

9. 

   There came from without the hoof-beats of a galloping relative and Aunt Dahlia whizzed in.

10. 

    I don’t suppose she would recognize a deep, beautiful thought if you handed it to her on a skewer with tartare sauce.

11. 

    'I want to know what the devil you mean by keeping coming into my private apartment, taking up space which I require for other purposes and interrupting me when I am chatting with my personal friends. Really one gets about as much privacy in this house as a strip-tease dancer.'

12. 

    'Have you ever seen Spode eat asparagus?'

    'No.'

    'Revolting. It alters one's whole conception of Man as Nature's last word.'