P.G. Wodehouse

Quotes

1. The junior partner of Caine and Cooper, though a man of blameless life, had one of those dark, saturnine faces which suggest a taste for the more sinister forms of crime, and on one cheek of that dark, saturnine face was a long scar. Actually it had been caused by the bursting of a gingerbeer bottle at a Y.M.C.A. picnic, but it gave the impression of being the outcome of battles with knives in the cellars of the underworld.

2. 

   There was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves sailing into action.

3. 

   We exchanged a meaning glance. Or, rather, two meaning glances, I giving him one and he giving me the other.

4. 

   When news had reached me through well-informed channels that my Aunt Agatha for many years a widow, or derelict, as I believed it is called, was about to take another pop at matrimony, my first emotion, as was natural in the circumstances, had been a gentle pity for the unfortunate goop slated to step up the aisle with her - she, as you are aware, being my tough aunt, the one who eats broken bottles and conducts human sacrifices by the light of the full moon.

5. 

   She laughed - a solo effort. Nothing in the prevailing circumstances made me feel like turning it into a duet.

6. 

   I don’t say I’ve got much of a soul, but, such as it is, I’m perfectly satisfied with the little chap. I don’t want people fooling about with it. ‘Leave it alone,’ I say. ‘Don’t touch it. I like it the way it is.’

7. 

   He vanished abruptly, like an eel going into mud.

8. 

   However devoutly a girl may worship the man of her choice, there always comes a time when she feels an irresistible urge to haul off and let him have it in the neck.

9. 

   Breakfast had been prepared by the kitchen maid, an indifferent performer who had used the scorched earth policy on the bacon again.

10. 

    The stationmaster’s whiskers are of a Victorian bushiness and give the impression of having been grown under glass.

11. 

    It seemed to me, thinking quick, that the only way of solving the am-parce [impasse] was to sacrifice Shorty. Like Russian peasants with their children, you know, when they are pursued by wolves and it becomes imperative to lighten the sledge.

12. 

    He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.