'Have you ever seen Spode eat asparagus?' 'No.' 'Revolting. It alters one's whole conception of Man as… — P.G. Wodehouse

...his head emerged cautiously, like that of a snail taking a look around after a thunderstorm.

Aunt Agatha, who eats broken bottles and wears barbed wire next to the skin.

It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner or later, out pops the cloven hoof.