Laurence Sterne

Of all the cants which are canted in this canting world, — though the cant of hypocrites may be the worst, — the cant of criticism is the most tormenting!

L—d! said my mother, what is all this story about? — A Cock and a Bull, said Yorick — And one of the best of its kind I ever heard.

Writing, when properly managed, (as you may be sure I think mine is) is but a different name for conversation.

Go poor Devil, get thee gone, why should I hurt thee? — This world surely is wide enough to hold both thee and me.

Our armies swore terribly in Flanders, cried my uncle Toby, — but nothing to this. — For my own part, I could not have a heart to curse my dog so.

I have got him fast hung up, quoth Didius to himself, upon one of the two horns of my dilemma — let him get off as he can.

It had ever been the custom of the family, and by length of time was almost become a matter of common right, that the eldest son of it should have free ingress, egress, and regress into foreign parts before marriage, — not only for the sake of bettering his own private parts, by the benefit of exercise and change of so much air — but simply for the mere delectation of his fancy, by the feather put into his cap, of having been abroad.