{
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  "text": "I do know that girls in their early twenties are easy and sweet. (Girls in their late twenties are easier but sad, and that isn't so sweet.) They are easy, I think, because they are sweet, and they are sweet, I think, because they are dumb.",
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    "title": "SOMETHING HAPPENED",
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      "slug": "i-get-the",
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      "text": "I get the willies when I see closed doors. Even at work, where I am doing so well now, the sight of a closed door is sometimes enough to make me dread that something horrible is happening behind it, something that is going to affect me adversely; if I am tired and dejected from a night of lies or booze or sex or just nerves and insomnia, I can almost smell the disaster mounting invisibly and flooding out toward me through the frosted glass panes. My hands may perspire, and my voice may come out strange. I wonder why.\n\nSomething must have happened to me sometime.",
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      "text": "Waking up is such a peculiar and extraordinary process that I'm surprised we are able to manage it successfully so many times while we are still half asleep.",
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      "slug": "when-i-grow",
      "url": "https://www.leafyquotes.com/joseph-heller/something-happened/when-i-grow",
      "text": "When I grow up I want to be a little boy.",
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