Some idiot is moving heavy furniture around in the flat above and I wake up with a start. I'm about to give… — John Sweeney

Some idiot is moving heavy furniture around in the flat above and I wake up with a start. I'm about to give Lambeth Council a ring to get them to sort him out when I remember I am in Kyiv and it's four o'clock in the morning, and it's not tables and chairs that are going bang but Russian artillery.

The idiot is Vladimir Putin and his idiot war is two days old.

p. 1Source: Wikiquote · CC BY-SA 4.0