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  "text": "Nobody's really getting in shape for anything. In modern society, you really don't have to be physically strong to do anything. The only reason that you're getting in shape is so you can get through the workout. So we're working out, so that we'll be in shape, for when we have to do our exercises. That's comedy.",
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      "slug": "when-you-want",
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      "text": "When you want to enjoy something, you must never let logic get too much in the way.",
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      "text": "I would say the main competition for the book is the video because for some reason people feel they need to come home with a rectangular block of something that they don't know the end of. The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.",
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      "text": "That's what annoys me about sweepstakes companies, they always tease you with that, \"You may have already won,\" and we all buy into it. [...] I'd like once for a sweepstakes company to have some guts, come out with the truth, just be honest with people one time. Send out envelopes, \"You have definitely lost.\" You turn it over, giant printing, \"Not even close!\"",
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