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  "text": "It's not enough that we catch [lobsters], kill them, and eat them. We want to see them in the tank as we walk into the restaurant, sweating it out. [...] I saw one once that looked like he was attempting to clean the inside of the tank. \"I just work here.\"",
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      "slug": "when-you-want",
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      "text": "When you want to enjoy something, you must never let logic get too much in the way.",
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      "text": "I would say the main competition for the book is the video because for some reason people feel they need to come home with a rectangular block of something that they don't know the end of. The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.",
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      "slug": "thats-what-annoys",
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      "text": "That's what annoys me about sweepstakes companies, they always tease you with that, \"You may have already won,\" and we all buy into it. [...] I'd like once for a sweepstakes company to have some guts, come out with the truth, just be honest with people one time. Send out envelopes, \"You have definitely lost.\" You turn it over, giant printing, \"Not even close!\"",
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