The atmosphere in the room was so thick with dramatic clichés you could have cut it with a knife. — Jasper Fforde

No one had been more surprised than me by the arrival of the Great Panjandrum when I pulled the emergency handle. For the nonbelievers it was something of a shock, but not any less than for the faithful. She had been so long a figure of speech that seeing her in the flesh was something of a shock. I thought she had seemed quite plain and in her midthirties, but Humpty-Dumpty told me later he had been shaped like an egg. In any event, the marble statue that now stands in the lobby of the Council of Genres depicts the Great Panjandrum as Mr. Price the stonemason saw him—with a leather apron and carrying a mallet and stone chisel.

The leader was identified by his dental records—why he had them on him, no one was quite sure.

Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not trying hard enough.