James Morrow

Quotes

1. In my protracted sojourn on this planet, Mr. Candle, I have come to value three commodities above all others: good books, decent claret, and worthy opponents.

   p. 122

2. 

   There’s nothing quite so pernicious as wishful thinking.

   p. 285

3. 

   I am the Father of Lies. Over the years, my children have done me proud. I shouldn’t play favorites, but I am especially pleased with “The meek shall inherit the earth.” Likewise, I shall always retain a soft spot in my heart for “Every cloud has a silver lining.” As for “Time heals all wounds” and “Whenever God closes a door, He opens a window”—they, too, make me gloat unconscionably.

   p. 13

4. 

   “He said we’d learn the answers!”

   “Life is full of disappointments.”

   “Here’s a question you can answer.” Beauchamp pointed to the INRI plaque. “That sign above your head—it’s in all the crucifixion paintings. I’ve always wondered, what does it mean?”

   “‘I’m Not Returning Immediately.’”

   p. 248

5. 

   Although covetousness is not my only flaw, it seems to cause me more pain than all my other sins combined.

   p. 255

6. 

   Say “rationalist” to the average New Age chucklehead, and you conjured up unappetizing images: killjoys obsessed with rules, boors fixated on order, logic-mongers skating around on the surface of things, missing the cosmic essence. Phooey. A rationalist could experience awe as readily as a shaman. But it had to be quality awe, Oliver believed, awe without illusions—the sort of awe he’d felt upon intuiting the size of the universe, or sensing the unlikeliness of his birth.

   p. 109

7. 

   I said my standard grace—“Dear Lord, we know You have good reasons for allowing thousands of children to starve in various undeveloped nations, and we thank You for concomitantly supplying our own table with these grossly superfluous portions, amen”—after which we all dug in.

   p. 153

8. 

   Never underestimate the value of a falsehood, friends. Never doubt the power of a lie. Blessed are the mendacious, for they shall grow wealthy beyond their wildest dreams.

   p. 42

9. 

   You should be talking to a doctor of theology, not a Father of Lies. The distinction is subtle but real.

   p. 154

10. 

    “What’s theodicy?” asked Anthony.

    “Hard to explain.”

    “Sounds like idiocy.”

    “Much of it is.”

    p. 38

11. 

    He set down the paddle, lowered his head, and, as tears squirted from his eyes, began pondering the curious fact that in the entire Book of Job the sufferer never once lamented the loss of his children.

    p. 236

12. 

    Don’t get testy with me, sir. I am Augustine of Hippo Regius, discoverer of concupiscence. Between my legs hangs the axis on which will turn the brave new world of Christian antieroticism.

    p. 171