I am not unaware of what such daydreams signify, dreams of becoming an unthinking savage, of taking the cold… — J. M. Coetzee
I am not unaware of what such daydreams signify, dreams of becoming an unthinking savage, of taking the cold road back to the capital, of groping my way out to the ruins in the desert, of returning to the confinement of my cell, of seeking out the barbarians and offering myself to them to use as they wish.
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How can I accept that disaster has overtaken my life when the world continues to move so tranquilly through its cycles?
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Truly, man was not made to live alone!
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It is the knowledge of how contingent my unease is, how dependent on a baby that wails beneath my window one day and does not wail the next, that brings the worst shame to me, the greatest indifference to annihilation.

