Harry Turtledove

No one argued with him, which was a pleasant novelty.

“Give me two synonyms for ‘idiots,’” Clemens said, and then gave them himself: “‘Fools’ and ‘Republicans.’”

When a politician, which was what the president of the CSA had long since become, said he was personally in sympathy with something, Jackson had learned, he meant the opposite.

Blaine hated the Confederate States because they were a rival, not because they were tyrants. Had they been exemplars of purest democracy, rivals they would have remained, and he would have hated them no less.

“You wouldn’t bring me fifty dollars. You’re too damn old and too damn uppity.”

“I can’t help being old, and I am proud to be uppity,” Douglass said.

But, at the moment, the urge to write was not upon him. He shook his head and grimaced wryly. As a veteran newspaper man, he knew you wrote when you had to write, not when the Muse sprinkled fairy dust in your hair and tapped you with a magic wand.

When was the last time you heard a Republican speak up for a fair shake for the working man or for justice and equality for all men? Those are the ideals we espoused when we were young. Have they changed from boons to evils as we grew old?

But, aside from that grumbling, without which they would hardly have been soldiers, they went where they were ordered.

“How many Mormons are polygamists, truly?” Lincoln asked. “They write all sorts of things in the eastern papers.”

“They say all sorts of things here, too,” Hamilton answered. “The truth is devilish hard to find, and they don’t keep any public records of marriages past the first, which makes it harder yet. I’d say it’s about one in ten, if that, but the polygamists have influence beyond their numbers. If you’re going to support more than one wife and family, you need more than the common run of money, you see.”

“Oh, yes,” Lincoln said. “A case similar to that of slaveholders in the Confederate States.”

Anxious, he asked, “My dear, how are you?”

“As the good Lord meant me to be,” she answered, to which he found no response. She went on, “Pretty soon I’ll see Him face-to-face, and I intend to have a good long talk with Him about the way things do go on in this here world.”

“Good,” Douglass said. “I’m sure He could have made a much better job of things had He had you to advise Him.”

We all declare for liberty; but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing. With some, the word means for each man to do as he pleases with himself, and with the product of his labor. With others, the same word means for some men to do as they please with other men, and the product of other men’s labor. The fullness of time, I am convinced, will prove to the world which is the true definition of the word, and my earnest hope remains that the United States of America show yet lead the way in the proving.

War is cruelty, and you cannot refine it. Its glory is all moonshine.