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  "title": "Teaching the Pig to Dance",
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      "text": "Teaching Latin to someone like me in high school was somewhat like trying to teach a pig to dance. It's a waste of the teacher's time and it irritates the pig.",
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      "text": "They say that God protects drunks and children. I would add young morons to that list.",
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      "text": "I heard Senator Sam Irvin of Watergate fame say something that stayed with me: 'If you can paint a really good picture of a cow, you don't have to write the word \"cow\" under it.'",
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      "text": "My daddy always said that a man who walks around with a smile on his face all the time can't possibly know what's going on.",
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      "text": "Minor surgery is surgery that someone else is having",
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