Evelyn Waugh

Quotes

1. "We, Seth, Emperor of Azania, Chief of Chiefs of Sakuyu, Lord of Wanda and Tyrant of the Seas, Bachelor of the Arts of Oxford University, being in this the twenty-fourth year of our life, summoned by the wisdom of Almighty God and the unanimous voice of our people to the throne of our ancestors, do hereby proclaim. . ." Seth paused in his dictation and gazed out across the harbour where in the fresh breeze of early morning the last dhow was setting sail for the open sea. "Rats," he said; "stinking curs. They are all running away."

2. 

   I came to the conclusion many years ago that almost all crime is due to the repressed desire for aesthetic expression.

3. 

   I expect you'll be becoming a schoolmaster, sir. That's what most of the gentlemen does, sir, that gets sent down for indecent behaviour.

4. 

   'I couldn't understand why God had made the world at all...' I asked my bishop; he didn't know. He said that he didn't think the point arose as far as my practical duties as a parish priest were concerned..' ( Mr Prendergast, Part One , Chapter IV)

5. 

   Chokey thinks religion is just divine.

6. 

   Please bear in mind throughout that IT IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY.

7. 

   There is a species of person called a 'Modern Churchman' who draws the full salary of a beneficed clergyman and need not commit himself to any religious belief

8. 

   They should have told me that at the end of that gay journey and flower-strewn path were the hideous lights of home and the voices of children.

9. 

   I don't believe that people would ever fall in love or want to be married if they hadn't been told about it. It's like abroad: no one would want to go there if they hadn't been told it existed.

10. 

    Instead of this absurd division into sexes they ought to class people as static and dynamic.

11. 

    Augustus Fagan, Esquire, Ph.D., Llanabba Castle, N.Wales, requires immediately junior assistant to teach Classics and English to University Standard with subsidiary Mathematics, German and French. Experience essential;first-class games essential...

12. 

    'But what am I to teach them?' said Paul in sudden panic.