“I wish my parents took good care of their grow-op.” — Douglas Coupland

“What do lesbians have against capitalized letters?”

“Capitalization implies a hierarchy, that some letters are more special than others.”

It turns out that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony — which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value. I can’t imagine anything worse than that. Okay, maybe I can, but imagine reading the morning newspaper and believing it all to be true on some level.

Older staffers don’t even bother coming in on weekends. Where is the sleep-crazed, Pepsi-fuelled one-point-oh tech environment that can only be created by having no green vegetables, no sex and no life?

Cowboy said, “I miss the greed of the 1990s bubble.”

John Doe said, “I miss the possibility of unearned wealth.”

Bree said, “I miss the possibility of doing something Apple, something one-point-oh.”

Evil Mark said, “I miss people having Hot Wheels tracks set up in their cubicles.”

Gord-O walked into the pod. “You can’t miss the nineties, because you weren’t there. They were great. Too bad you screwed-up twits missed out on the party.”