# Quote — Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy: Primary Phase

> "Vogon Constructor Fleets. Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: forget it. They are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy—not actually evil, but bad-tempered, officious and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, queried, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters.
>
> "The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat, and the best way to irritate him is to feed his grandmother to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.
>
> "On no account allow a Vogon to read poetry at you."

- Author: [Douglas Adams](https://www.leafyquotes.com/douglas-adams.md)
- Book: [The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy: Primary Phase](https://www.leafyquotes.com/douglas-adams/the-hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy-primary-phase.md)
- Source: [Wikiquote](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Hitchhiker's_Guide_to_the_Galaxy#Chapter_5) ([CC BY-SA 4.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/))
- Quote page: https://www.leafyquotes.com/douglas-adams/the-hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy-primary-phase/vogon-constructor-fleets

## More from this book

> "Come," said Slartibartfast, "you are to meet the mice."

[Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/douglas-adams/the-hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy-primary-phase/come-said-slartibartfast.md)

> The aircar rocketed them at speeds in excess of R17 through the steel tunnels that lead out onto the appalling surface of the planet which was now in the grip of yet another drear morning twilight. Ghastly grey lights congealed on the land.
>
> R is a velocity measure, defined as a reasonable speed of travel that is consistent with health, mental wellbeing and not being more than say five minutes late. It is therefore clearly an almost infinitely variable figure according to circumstances, since the first two factors vary not only with speed taken as an absolute, but also with awareness of the third factor. Unless handled with tranquility this equation can result in considerable stress, ulcers and even death.
>
> R17 is not a fixed velocity, but it is clearly far too fast.

[Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/douglas-adams/the-hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy-primary-phase/the-aircar-rocketed.md)

> "Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it," said Marvin.
>
> "And what happened?" pressed Ford.
>
> "It committed suicide," said Marvin and stalked off back to the Heart of Gold.

[Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/douglas-adams/the-hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy-primary-phase/simple-i-got.md)