Denis Leary

I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day!

Somebody accidentally nudges their poodle off a 75th floor ledge. Boink. And he's headed for the ground at a hundred and seventy five thousand miles per hour "BARROOOOOOOO!!". And "KERCHUNK" he's embedded on your head. You're dead on contact. The headline on the post the next day reads "Man Killed By Best Friend." People cut the article out and laugh about it at the office. You are forever remembered as the Poodleman! "I knew the Poodleman and he hated fucking poodles."

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I would never do crack. I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?