Dad on friendship: "Sure, some people are nice. Real nice. Nice like carpets so you can walk all over them." — David Sedaris

The inevitable finally happened, just as I knew it would.

Someone stopped Mitch on the street last night and said, "I need another seventy-five cents so I can buy a cheeseburger. How about helping me?"

Mitch said, "Get it without the cheese," and continued walking.

Later I went to the design school and saw Kumar and Melamid, the Soviet dissident artists, who are funny. I sold them my soul for $1.