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  "title": "Dress Your Family In Corduroy And Denim",
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  "author": {
    "name": "David Sedaris",
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      "slug": "if-finding-an-apartment",
      "url": "https://www.leafyquotes.com/david-sedaris/dress-your-family-in-corduroy-and-denim/if-finding-an-apartment",
      "text": "If finding an apartment is like falling in love, buying one is like proposing on your first date and agreeing not to see each other until the wedding.",
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      "slug": "i-cant-seem",
      "url": "https://www.leafyquotes.com/david-sedaris/dress-your-family-in-corduroy-and-denim/i-cant-seem",
      "text": "I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen.",
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      "text": "I thought I'd get a coffee and take it outdoors, but just as I approached, a boy swooped in and began mixing himself a cup of hot chocolate. It was a complicated business, mixing a cup of hot chocolate. You had to spread the powdered cocoa from one end of the table to the other and use as many stirrers as possible, making sure to thoroughly chew the wetted ends before tossing them upon the stack of unused napkins. This is what I like about children: complete attention to one detail and complete disregard of another.",
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      "text": "My problem was that I already loved an apartment. The one we had was perfect, and searching for another left me feeling faithless and sneaky, as if I were committing adultery. After a viewing, I'd stand in our living room, looking up at the high, beamed ceiling and trying to explain that the other two-bedroom had meant nothing to me.",
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      "text": "Sometimes when you're stoned it's fun to sit around and think of who might play you in the movie version of your life. What makes it fun is that no one is actually going to make a movie of your life. I'd worried that, in making the movie, the director might get me and my family wrong, but now a worse thought occurred to me: What if he got us right?",
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      "url": "https://www.leafyquotes.com/david-sedaris/dress-your-family-in-corduroy-and-denim/cut-corners-and",
      "text": "\"Cut corners and it'll always come back to bite you in the ass.\" That was one of her sayings.",
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      "text": "She's afraid to tell me anything important, knowing I'll only turn around and write about it. In my mind, I'm like a friendly junkman, building things from the little pieces of scrap I find here and there, but my family's started to see things differently. Their personal lives are the so-called pieces of scrap I so casually pick up, and they're sick of it. More and more often their stories begin with the line \"You have to swear you will never repeat this.\" I always promise, but it's generally understood that my word means nothing.",
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      "text": "In the coming years our father would continue to promise what he couldn't deliver, and in time we grew to think of him as an actor auditioning for the role of a benevolent millionaire. He'd never get the part but liked the way the words felt in his mouth.",
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