# Quote — Dave Barry, I'll Mature When I'm Dead

> Your kids don't need you shouting at them on the playing field, any more than they need you shouting at them in the classroom. Let them play the game and figure out for themselves how they feel about it, without having to worry about your feelings, too. Make it clear that your happiness doesn't depend on the score. Cheer for your kid, sure, but do it cheerfully. If you can't manage that, take a walk; the game will go on fine without you, because it's not about you.

- Author: [Dave Barry](https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry.md)
- Book: [I'll Mature When I'm Dead](https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry/ill-mature-when-im-dead.md)
- Page: 245
- Source: [Wikiquote](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Dave_Barry#I'll_Mature_When_I'm_Dead_(2010)) ([CC BY-SA 4.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/))
- Topics: [children](https://www.leafyquotes.com/topics/children.md)
- Quote page: https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry/ill-mature-when-im-dead/your-kids-dont

## More from this book

> I think that parents- not all of them, but a lot of them- are sucking the fun out of kids' sports. They're making it clear to their kids that they think sports is about winning, and only winning. This is a reasonable value to instill if you honestly believe your child is going to become a professional athlete. But you need to remember two things: 1. Your child is not, in fact, going to become a professional athlete. 2. There are more important things in life than winning. Such as not being a jerk.

p. 244 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry/ill-mature-when-im-dead/i-think-that.md)

> If Man A asks Man B for directions, Man B, realizing that Man A is a weak, direction-asking type of male who probably also reads owner's manuals, could decide to attack Man A's village and plunder his women. Man A is not about to run that type of risk.

p. 27 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry/ill-mature-when-im-dead/if-man-a-asks.md)

> Two invasive species in particular have caused serious concern: Burmese pythons, and New Yorkers. The New Yorkers have been coming for years, which is weird because pretty much all they do once they get to Florida is bitch about how everything here sucks compared to the earthly paradise that is New York. They continue to root, loudly, for the Jets, the Knicks, the Mets, and the Yankees; they never stop declaring, loudly, that in New York the restaurants are better, the stores are nicer, the people are smarter, the public transportation is free of sharks, etc. The Burmese pythons are less obnoxious, but just as alarming in their own way. These are snakes that started out as pets of Miami residents, until one day these residents stopped smoking crack and said, "Jesus H. Christ! We're living with a giant snake!"

p. 84 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry/ill-mature-when-im-dead/two-invasive-species.md)

Topics: [humor](https://www.leafyquotes.com/topics/humor.md)