# Quote — Dave Barry, I'll Mature When I'm Dead

> So they let the pythons go, and a lot of them ended up in the Everglades, which is basically Las Vegas for pythons. They've been engaging in wild python sex out there for years; wildlife biologists estimate that there are now more than one hundred thousand of them. They can grow to be longer than twenty feet, and they don't have any natural enemies, so they're eating all the other Everglades animals. The wildlife authorities are desperately trying to figure out what to do about this. My preference would be to use tactical nuclear weapons, but this would never fly with the wildlife community, which regards the Everglades as a precious ecosystem, even though to the naked civilian eye it is a giant festering stinkhole of muck.

- Author: [Dave Barry](https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry.md)
- Book: [I'll Mature When I'm Dead](https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry/ill-mature-when-im-dead.md)
- Page: 85
- Source: [Wikiquote](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Dave_Barry#I'll_Mature_When_I'm_Dead_(2010)) ([CC BY-SA 4.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/))
- Topics: [humor](https://www.leafyquotes.com/topics/humor.md), [animals](https://www.leafyquotes.com/topics/animals.md)
- Quote page: https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry/ill-mature-when-im-dead/so-they-let

## More from this book

> I think that parents- not all of them, but a lot of them- are sucking the fun out of kids' sports. They're making it clear to their kids that they think sports is about winning, and only winning. This is a reasonable value to instill if you honestly believe your child is going to become a professional athlete. But you need to remember two things: 1. Your child is not, in fact, going to become a professional athlete. 2. There are more important things in life than winning. Such as not being a jerk.

p. 244 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry/ill-mature-when-im-dead/i-think-that.md)

> If Man A asks Man B for directions, Man B, realizing that Man A is a weak, direction-asking type of male who probably also reads owner's manuals, could decide to attack Man A's village and plunder his women. Man A is not about to run that type of risk.

p. 27 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry/ill-mature-when-im-dead/if-man-a-asks.md)

> Two invasive species in particular have caused serious concern: Burmese pythons, and New Yorkers. The New Yorkers have been coming for years, which is weird because pretty much all they do once they get to Florida is bitch about how everything here sucks compared to the earthly paradise that is New York. They continue to root, loudly, for the Jets, the Knicks, the Mets, and the Yankees; they never stop declaring, loudly, that in New York the restaurants are better, the stores are nicer, the people are smarter, the public transportation is free of sharks, etc. The Burmese pythons are less obnoxious, but just as alarming in their own way. These are snakes that started out as pets of Miami residents, until one day these residents stopped smoking crack and said, "Jesus H. Christ! We're living with a giant snake!"

p. 84 — [Quote page](https://www.leafyquotes.com/dave-barry/ill-mature-when-im-dead/two-invasive-species.md)

Topics: [humor](https://www.leafyquotes.com/topics/humor.md)