‘It seems you like your coffee half and half, sarge ... half in the cup and half in the saucer.’ — Colin Dexter

‘Me and the wife always eat 'em (fish and chips) off the paper - seems to taste better somehow.’

‘They say it's the newsprint sticking to the chips ... By Jove, your wife's right, Lewis. I'll never eat them off a plate again.’

He passed the blonde just as she turned her head, and he blinked hard. What a world we live in! for the lovely blonde had a lovely beard and side-whiskers down to his chin. Interesting thought ...

‘He's promised to see a psychiatrist — but I'm not very optimistic about that. I only ever knew one psychiatrist. Funny chap. If ever a man was in need of psychiatric treatment it was him.’