Chuck Palahniuk

Language... was just our way to explain away the wonder and the glory of the world.

...maybe it's our job to invent something better. What's it going to be, I don't know...and maybe knowing isn't the point.

Masochism is a valuable job skill.

A little muscle twitch means rabies, means muscle cramps, thrist, confusion, and drooling, followed by seizures, coma, death. Acne means ovarian cysts. Feeling a little tired means tuberculosis. Bloodshot eyes mean meningitis. Drowsiness is the first sign of typhoid. Those floaters you see cross your eyes on sunny days, they mean your retina is detaching. You're going blind.

Torture is torture and humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer.

What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.

"The way to remember the symptoms of melanoma is the letters ABCD.

Parenthood being the opiate of the masses.

So if you think this is going to save you...

Just keep asking yourself: 'What would Jesus NOT do?'

You tell me, what does it get you if you can square root a triangle and then some terrorist shoots you in the head?

The deluded little rube who thought he could ever earn enough, know enough, own enough, run fast enough, hide well enough. Fuck enough.