"What did he promise you?" "Oh, you know. The usual. A lifetime's supply of Knicks tickets." — Cassandra Clare

"I know you don't have to help us out-it's a favor-"

"Stop. I don't do favors, Alec. I do things for you because-- well, why do you think I do them?

"How to Come Out to Your Parents," she read out loud. "LUKE. Don't be ridiculous. Simon's not gay, he's a vampire."

"Here, I'll practice on you. Mom. I have something to tell you. I'm undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I'm here to tell you that the undead are just like you and me. Well, okay. Possibly more like me than you."