It was insane that you had to pretend to be interested in your job and use these lame phrases like “pinging… — Alexander Starritt

It was as if they were together in their campaign tent, studying the map and deciding where to deploy their regiments.

This was what it must be like when the winners of some shitty trophy in Slovenia qualified for the Champions League and came up against Real Madrid. It was the sheer embarrassment of having taken yourself seriously.

For James, there was no sense that expanding Tesco’s sales onto the web was what the human race urgently needed. It didn’t have to be. This was a ladder. And yet: he’d come first in the most prestigious course at the most famous university in the world, and he was sitting here in his boxers copying and pasting the item code for ironing boards. It didn’t feel as if he were ascending to greatness.